A little room for connection

A library of small, usable exercises. Choose a situation, take what helps, and leave the rest. No account, purchase or private answer needed.

500 guides · page 5 of 25

• Check in when a question feels too broad

  Replace “How are you?” with a narrower question about the immediate moment.

• Check in when a ritual feels repetitive

  Ask which part is useful and which part has become automatic.

• Check in when advice is welcome

  Ask what decision the other person wants help with and what they have already considered.

• Check in when company is enough

  Make it clear that being together does not have to produce a meaningful discussion.

• Check in when neither person has news

  Use an ordinary observation instead of asking for an interesting update or emotional revelation.

• Check in when one person is distracted

  Name the divided attention kindly and offer to return later.

• Check in when preferences differ today

  Name both preferences without immediately turning them into a compromise contest.

• Check in when the day changed unexpectedly

  Ask which expectation needs updating before discussing the whole disruption.

• Check in when you cannot offer reassurance yet

  Say what you know and what remains unsettled without inventing certainty.

• Check in when you have different schedules

  Find a small overlap without treating mismatched schedules as lack of effort.

• Check in when you need reassurance

  Ask for a specific kind of reassurance instead of setting an unspoken test.

• Check in when you need to stop talking

  State your limit and distinguish stopping now from refusing every future conversation.

• Check in when you want to celebrate

  Ask what kind of celebration the other person would enjoy before organizing it.

• Check in while sharing a small space

  Find a way to request attention that does not assume physical proximity means availability.

• Check in with a choice to pass

  Include a clear pass option before asking a personal question.

• Check in without a number scale

  Offer descriptive words when rating a day from one to ten feels too reductive.

• Check in without comparing days

  Let both days be described without deciding which was harder or more deserving of attention.

• Check in without fixing anything

  Ask whether listening is the desired response before suggesting a solution.

• Check whether a draft contains an unmade promise

  Review future-tense statements before sending a message written to reassure someone.

• Choose a backup meeting place

  Pick an alternative before a crowded or unfamiliar venue makes contact difficult.

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