Check in without keeping score

A library of small, usable exercises. Choose a situation, take what helps, and leave the rest. No account, purchase or private answer needed.

50 guides · page 3 of 3

• Check in when you need to stop talking

  State your limit and distinguish stopping now from refusing every future conversation.

• Check in when you want to celebrate

  Ask what kind of celebration the other person would enjoy before organizing it.

• Check in while sharing a small space

  Find a way to request attention that does not assume physical proximity means availability.

• Check in with a choice to pass

  Include a clear pass option before asking a personal question.

• Check in without a number scale

  Offer descriptive words when rating a day from one to ten feels too reductive.

• Check in without comparing days

  Let both days be described without deciding which was harder or more deserving of attention.

• Check in without fixing anything

  Ask whether listening is the desired response before suggesting a solution.

• Choose a check-in answer size

  Agree whether today’s check-in needs one word, a sentence, or a longer conversation.

• Close a check-in without adding another question

  Summarize one thing you heard and let the conversation end naturally.

• Separate energy from affection

  Describe your available attention without treating low energy as a statement about the relationship.

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