Check in without keeping score

A library of small, usable exercises. Choose a situation, take what helps, and leave the rest. No account, purchase or private answer needed.

50 guides · page 2 of 3

• Check in before a weekend

  Compare what each person needs from the weekend before filling every available hour.

• Check in before asking a favor

  Ask about capacity before making the request sound like an established obligation.

• Check in before bedtime

  Separate a brief goodnight from topics that need alert attention and time.

• Check in before changing a routine

  Describe the change you want and ask how it would affect the other person.

• Check in before shared screen time

  Decide whether the activity is quiet company or time when conversation is welcome.

• Check in before sharing a disappointment

  Ask for listening space before delivering a difficult account.

• Check in during a crowded week

  Pick one question that fits the week’s actual constraints instead of trying to cover everything.

• Check in during a meal

  Ask whether the meal is a good setting for a personal topic instead of assuming it is private enough.

• Check in when a plan is still tentative

  State what is confirmed and what is only a possibility.

• Check in when a question feels too broad

  Replace “How are you?” with a narrower question about the immediate moment.

• Check in when a ritual feels repetitive

  Ask which part is useful and which part has become automatic.

• Check in when advice is welcome

  Ask what decision the other person wants help with and what they have already considered.

• Check in when company is enough

  Make it clear that being together does not have to produce a meaningful discussion.

• Check in when neither person has news

  Use an ordinary observation instead of asking for an interesting update or emotional revelation.

• Check in when one person is distracted

  Name the divided attention kindly and offer to return later.

• Check in when preferences differ today

  Name both preferences without immediately turning them into a compromise contest.

• Check in when the day changed unexpectedly

  Ask which expectation needs updating before discussing the whole disruption.

• Check in when you cannot offer reassurance yet

  Say what you know and what remains unsettled without inventing certainty.

• Check in when you have different schedules

  Find a small overlap without treating mismatched schedules as lack of effort.

• Check in when you need reassurance

  Ask for a specific kind of reassurance instead of setting an unspoken test.

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